40 Something

So my "dinner alone" never panned...mostly because my husband's plans changed and he wanted to go out to dinner.  So, duh. The whole evening started out odd.  Not bad...but odd.  A few library stragglers for a book sale we were having dragging their flipping feet.  Not flipper feet...but their stupid feet.  (Just to clarify.  I haven't seen anyone with flippers in the library...yet.) Anyway, I drive home uneventfully but with a very full bladder-because, well, four teas.  Hubs meets me outside and I ask if our son is coming and he said yup so I said, gotta "go" really quick.  I ran to the door and literally ran into my son. I tell Son that I have to "go" and he responds by saying, "Oh, good! I can finish my game really quick!"  Hello? We are LEAVING...in like seconds because  I am the master pee-er.  30 seconds.  Boom.   But weirdly, he WAS ready when we left like 36 seconds later. That should have been a GIANT clue...

Hi.  I'm me. I've been married for almost 30 years, we have 4 kids, 1 grandbaby, 3 granddogs, and a LOT of grand cats.  My hubs is a pastor, that means I'm a pastor's wife. Being a 40+ mom(alright, almost 50, I'm good with that)  and wife is HARD.  No one told me it would be this hard. I mean it.  Seriously.!Suddenly I am thrust into this world of a nearly empty nest...(a live at home college student) and life is weird and different.  My husband and I sit in silence, I have time to do whatever I want and I am completely LOST. There isn't really anyone to fix supper for or plan meals for anymore as my husband is on a special diet and does "his own thing."  I can do laundry once a week now. Really,  it's true.  If I vacuum the carpet the patterns stay for a whole day now.  I don't help with homework anymore.  Hell*, I don't even grocery shop that often any more as my husband always stops on his way back from work. (Special diet...re...