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And So It Begins....

Hi.  I'm me. I've been married for almost 30 years, we have 4 kids, 1 grandbaby, 3 granddogs, and a LOT of grand cats.  My hubs is a pastor, that means I'm a pastor's wife. Being a 40+ mom(alright, almost 50, I'm good with that)  and wife is HARD.  No one told me it would be this hard. I mean it.  Seriously.!Suddenly I am thrust into this world of a nearly empty nest...(a live at home college student) and life is weird and different.  My husband and I sit in silence, I have time to do whatever I want and I am completely LOST.

There isn't really anyone to fix supper for or plan meals for anymore as my husband is on a special diet and does "his own thing."  I can do laundry once a week now. Really,  it's true.  If I vacuum the carpet the patterns stay for a whole day now.  I don't help with homework anymore.  Hell*, I don't even grocery shop that often any more as my husband always stops on his way back from work. (Special diet...remember.)

*yes, I cussed.  Well, if hell is a "cuss word." It's more of a destination...and it's used in the same sentence as "grocery store" so...

So...what do I do now?  I work part-time in a community based job and enjoy it.  Attend a bible study weekly with ladies, go to a life group every other week with my husband, and every other week have a game night with friends.   That leaves a lot of nights free.   A lot of time.  A lot of Netflix...a lot of NCIS honestly.  And I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of waiting.  I'm tired of being the one at home.  SO...
2019 is gonna be a year of changes.

So, I suppose I thought by publishing this blog that I would be forced into a little bit of accountability.   Not sure to who...but it's worth a shot.  So here it goes.

I am going to start doing things by myself.

There.  Sounds easy, right?  No.  I mean it.  Stuff like shopping, going out for coffee, going to a movie, going out to eat.  By myself.  Mostly because I figure I have to learn to like to do things with me first AND figure out what I like to do.

So...here goes nothing.  
Tomorrow is day 1.   I work all day and then I  will do something for dinner all by myself.  Alone.  Because I'm worth it.

~me

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