Some days my brain wants to explode. Not just my brain but my emotions, too.
Every so often I have to just get a pen and notebook and do a brain dump. Just write anything and everything down that crosses my mind. It helps me to be able to organize my thoughts and very often helps me to see underlying issues and problems. Last night was a brain dump night. What I discovered is not profound, but it speaks truth into where I am right now. My discovery?
I have too many voices speaking into my life right now.
Social media, books, opinions of others, my own ridiculous weird ideas, my incessant search for more information on any particular subject, podcasts, the flipping Enneagram, and the list goes on and on and on.
Did you sense my irritation?
The problem with all of these things speaking into my life is that it becomes harder and harder to hear the Holy Spirit. As a result, I get anxious, feel out of balance, and lost. My usual train of thought goes like this: Oh, I wonder what so-and-so posted? Cool. Good for them. My life sucks. I should be doing that. I wonder if there are any good books on that. (Scroll Amazon for titles then look in online at the library, then if not in the library, add to cart, remove from the cart after chastizing self for wanting to buy something else.) Then, search online for articles, websites, etc. Feel completely overwhelmed, so look up stuff on simplicity. Then look at hashtag for simplicity on Instagram. After scrolling for 20 minutes and following new ideas or people, unfollow them because I don't REALLY want to follow them.
Text my friend and tell her I feel like a loser. End up sending ridiculous gifs back and forth for 10 minutes. Laugh. Feel better. Start the process all over.
Two things are striking about this. First of all, the voices lead to feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. Those are NOT voices of truth. Clearly illustrated by the above self-destruction listed.
I'm not even sure I can choose healthy right now. Habit is so ingrained in me. SO, as a result, I'm going to attempt to act like a grown-up and ground myself.
This morning at 3am I deleted social media apps from my phone. But, I know myself well. Last time I did that I just used the browser...I'm growing up. I actually deactivated the browser on my iPhone. Will it actually work? Who knows. But I know it's the first step in limiting what speaks into my life right now.
I'm also limiting the podcasts that I listen to as well. So, for at least a month, no podcasts on ANYTHING self-help related. No time management, no marriage advice, no Enneagram (because I cannot figure out what I am and I am obsessed), no anything that isn't purely entertaining.
Books. ACK! I work in a library. I see all the interesting books that people check out, ask about and or that I am curious about. Then I end up with books on 20 different topics completely overwhelming me. So, ONLY books that entertain for a while.
So much information....and we have it all at our fingertips. AND we/I mistakenly think that I am in charge of the outcome of my life. That's crazy talk for someone who loves Jesus and just wants to hear Him and his voice speak truth into my life. So...for the next undetermined amount of time I am doing SIMPLE.
I'll let you know how it goes...and what the results are.
Every so often I have to just get a pen and notebook and do a brain dump. Just write anything and everything down that crosses my mind. It helps me to be able to organize my thoughts and very often helps me to see underlying issues and problems. Last night was a brain dump night. What I discovered is not profound, but it speaks truth into where I am right now. My discovery?
I have too many voices speaking into my life right now.
Social media, books, opinions of others, my own ridiculous weird ideas, my incessant search for more information on any particular subject, podcasts, the flipping Enneagram, and the list goes on and on and on.
Did you sense my irritation?
The problem with all of these things speaking into my life is that it becomes harder and harder to hear the Holy Spirit. As a result, I get anxious, feel out of balance, and lost. My usual train of thought goes like this: Oh, I wonder what so-and-so posted? Cool. Good for them. My life sucks. I should be doing that. I wonder if there are any good books on that. (Scroll Amazon for titles then look in online at the library, then if not in the library, add to cart, remove from the cart after chastizing self for wanting to buy something else.) Then, search online for articles, websites, etc. Feel completely overwhelmed, so look up stuff on simplicity. Then look at hashtag for simplicity on Instagram. After scrolling for 20 minutes and following new ideas or people, unfollow them because I don't REALLY want to follow them.
Text my friend and tell her I feel like a loser. End up sending ridiculous gifs back and forth for 10 minutes. Laugh. Feel better. Start the process all over.
Two things are striking about this. First of all, the voices lead to feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. Those are NOT voices of truth. Clearly illustrated by the above self-destruction listed.
I'm not even sure I can choose healthy right now. Habit is so ingrained in me. SO, as a result, I'm going to attempt to act like a grown-up and ground myself.
This morning at 3am I deleted social media apps from my phone. But, I know myself well. Last time I did that I just used the browser...I'm growing up. I actually deactivated the browser on my iPhone. Will it actually work? Who knows. But I know it's the first step in limiting what speaks into my life right now.
I'm also limiting the podcasts that I listen to as well. So, for at least a month, no podcasts on ANYTHING self-help related. No time management, no marriage advice, no Enneagram (because I cannot figure out what I am and I am obsessed), no anything that isn't purely entertaining.
Books. ACK! I work in a library. I see all the interesting books that people check out, ask about and or that I am curious about. Then I end up with books on 20 different topics completely overwhelming me. So, ONLY books that entertain for a while.
So much information....and we have it all at our fingertips. AND we/I mistakenly think that I am in charge of the outcome of my life. That's crazy talk for someone who loves Jesus and just wants to hear Him and his voice speak truth into my life. So...for the next undetermined amount of time I am doing SIMPLE.
I'll let you know how it goes...and what the results are.
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