So this morning I had a typical anxiety attack. It went like this:
Everything is fine.
WHAM!
My skin is crawling, I can't breath and I need to run away.
How did I respond? I have learned through the decades the first thing I need to do is his pause. No matter what I am doing I hit the pause button and stop. Take a deep breath. And then the self-talk starts.
Ok. I know what's happening. It will be ok.
Say a quick prayer for my mind to clear so I can think.
Sit down and journal. Brain dump would be more accurate. I write every single thing I remember thinking prior to the episode. Everything. Sometimes it will look like this:
There is usually more but that's the general idea. Usually, but not always, by the time I am done writing I am just about through the physical symptoms. Now I just need to order my mind. I've found that by doing a brain dump I can often see a theme in what's going on. For instance, in the above, I would logically conclude that I am feeling overwhelmed by things and feeling crowded by my physical space. Which means that emotionally I am probably needed to step back and reset my self. (Another post.) With the dump I then form a list. I know that I cannot do it all at once. But if I make a list of things that I can correct, that I am in control of, I can be proactive. Then, the things I am not in control of (and control is all relative because as a Jesus follower, I want God in control of my life, I stop and write out a prayer in my journal. I let it go.
Anxiety is rough. I am on medication but more importantly, I have learned coping skills that work for me. I know my energy, chaos, and space limits. BUT I am also learning to take risks.
Life is beautiful. It's a gift. It should be lived fully.
Everything is fine.
WHAM!
My skin is crawling, I can't breath and I need to run away.
How did I respond? I have learned through the decades the first thing I need to do is his pause. No matter what I am doing I hit the pause button and stop. Take a deep breath. And then the self-talk starts.
Ok. I know what's happening. It will be ok.
Say a quick prayer for my mind to clear so I can think.
Sit down and journal. Brain dump would be more accurate. I write every single thing I remember thinking prior to the episode. Everything. Sometimes it will look like this:
My mind is racing. It won't stop. I keep thinking about everything. This morning I am overwhelmed by a sense of nothing is quite right. Everything is off just a little. The cabinet door is askew. The windows are open but I see the cobweb underneath the curtain. There's too much stuff on my walls. Why can't I find a good system for organizing the medicine cabinet. I need to go to the dentist. Why can't I keep up on the laundry. Why do I keep doing the same sin over and over? Why can't I just get my crap together?
There is usually more but that's the general idea. Usually, but not always, by the time I am done writing I am just about through the physical symptoms. Now I just need to order my mind. I've found that by doing a brain dump I can often see a theme in what's going on. For instance, in the above, I would logically conclude that I am feeling overwhelmed by things and feeling crowded by my physical space. Which means that emotionally I am probably needed to step back and reset my self. (Another post.) With the dump I then form a list. I know that I cannot do it all at once. But if I make a list of things that I can correct, that I am in control of, I can be proactive. Then, the things I am not in control of (and control is all relative because as a Jesus follower, I want God in control of my life, I stop and write out a prayer in my journal. I let it go.
Anxiety is rough. I am on medication but more importantly, I have learned coping skills that work for me. I know my energy, chaos, and space limits. BUT I am also learning to take risks.
Life is beautiful. It's a gift. It should be lived fully.
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